but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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