maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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