so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
