He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
