Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
