If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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