I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
