I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
