You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
