The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
