For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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