Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
