The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
