I showed him my bush... on skype.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
