So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
