i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
