it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
