im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
