i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
