How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
