I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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