are you still at the devil's house?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
