My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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