where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
