You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
