me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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