theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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