my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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