I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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