he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
