There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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