it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
