Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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