i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sext me about skeletons
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize