so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
