I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
