my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
