You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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