Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
