the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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