he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
