I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
