College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
