You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
