i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize