Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
worst night to have a conscience
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
