instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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