Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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