You're my little dorito
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
