I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
