im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just blew my weed a kiss
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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