put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
