So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
