hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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