found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
how drunk are you?
Several
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
