i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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