We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
