I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Did you just see the Batmobile???
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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