I bet he comes in French.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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