Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
