I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
