If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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